Goddess, I Am.

I’ve been sitting on something big for a while now, mainly because I did not want to say anything until I knew without a doubt that it was going to happen. But now, it looks like it is totally happening – if a brand-new visa sticker on my passport and confirmed travel bookings are any indication, that is.

Friends, I’m going to Europe!!! Aaaaahhhhhhhh!!!

It all started when Chin said she’ll get me an invite to the International Film Festival in Rotterdam for the world premiere of Mondomanila, a film by the illustrious Khavn De La Cruz. Before I knew it, I was buried in a flurry of paperwork, trying to get everything sorted out in time for the festival. And well, I did, and I didn’t. To make a long story short, I got my visa . . . but my validity dates were a bit later than everyone else’s, mainly because I was the only one who applied through the Dutch Consulate in Cebu. So right now, while Chin and the rest of the Philippine delegation are on their happy way to Amsterdam, I’m stuck here, waiting for the first of February to come (and missing the Mondomanila premiere in the process – bummer).

Anyway.

I will also be visiting my best friend Kaye and her husband Bram, and I get to crash in their place, Y-E-Y! And of course, how can I possibly go to Europe without side trips to Paris AND Rome??? Even the thought of having to sacrifice Venice and Florence couldn’t dampen my elation – there’s always next time, after all! I’m also hoping to get to Berlin in time for the Berlinale, too, where Pusong Wazak – another Khavn De La Cruz film – is premiering. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that my budget will allow it.

If I’m honest, I would say that the past few months have been a huge strain on me. Work, home, and pretty much life in general have all been kicking my ass at practically every turn, and well, it’s been hard. It was all I could do not to lose faith, not to shatter into a million unrecognizable fragments of myself. I really am not as frivolous as most people think, but if I can be frivolous just once in my entire life, this is it. I’ve worked long and hard enough for it, after all. I have made my sacrifices – too many of them, in fact – so how can I not deserve this?

I’ve been raised to recognize opportunities, and take them as they come. And if – for once – I make a couple of my dreams come true in the process, well, that’s just fan-fucking-tastic, isn’t it?

So expect a bevy of new posts and photos by the dozens. For sure, I’ll have truckloads of new stories to tell, and I’ll be snapping away like nobody’s business (though I’ll try to draw the line on decorative switch plate covers, tee hee).

This is definitely shaping up to be a very good year.

P.S. Pardon the bad photo quality. I took this with my phone because my camera’s memory card has gone a’missing!

For over a year now, I’ve had this strange obsession with capes. By cape, I mean the ones worn by British schoolchildren back in the 40s and 50s, not the ones that look like mexican blankets like so:

Many a time, I have come this close to buying one, but what’s left of my practical self always gets the better of me. However, said practicality apparently flies out the window when confronted with a simple black cape on sale in my local Forever 21, thus:

I have no idea when and where to wear it. I refuse to do so in this country, even with all the rain and the cold weather we’ve been having. It just seems…wrong and incredibly inappropriate. So why did I buy it then? Because I know one way or the other, I will get to wear this lovely thing one day. Never mind if that “one day” might turn out to be months or even years from now.

The important thing is I have a cape hanging in my closet. And I am happy because I have a cape, period.

(Now, excuse me while I look for one in taupe. Just because I like the sound of that – taupe.)

Photo from my Sabah, Malaysia trip back in May 2011.

I have mixed feelings about the year that was. My blessings were plenty, oh yes, and I’m eternally grateful. But then, there was also a smattering of heartaches and more than a handful of frustrations that came my way. Goals, plans, and promises were made, while some of the exact same goals, plans, and promises were broken, too.

In retrospect, my 2011 was equal parts sadness and joy, misery and bliss. It was a year of hard work, of discoveries both good and bad, of laughter and tears (many times in the same breath). Was it a good year then? If you ask me, it was! But then, I believe all my years are good, regardless of how bad one or two may be, just as long as they’re not wasted and I learned a thing or two along the way. So really, I’m no expert.

But boy, did I learn! I learned about sacrifice and limits, about faith and taking the reins, and weirdly enough, about Mongolians and Hydraulic Power Units, to name just a few. And that’s the most important thing above all, I believe. Learning and growing constantly and without fail.

This year, it’s all about the Kierkegaardian leap for me, the proverbial leap of faith. I intend to go places, take chances, leap, and leap again.

The world may end this year, or it may not – who knows? Either way, why not make the most out of it, right? I know I will.