They say bad things come in three’s. If that’s true, then it looks like we might have one more to go.

On our way home from dinner, the boyfriend and I were waiting for our songthaew to turn up in our usual bus stop. This stop has a bench where we usually settle in for the long wait as the songthaews in this particular route tend to be few and far between. Behind the bench, there’s also one of those wooden platform-cum-beds where motorcycle taxi drivers rest during the day in between trips. Tonight, however, there were no taxi drivers. Instead, there were two bums lolling around on the “bed”, both drunk or stoned or both.

I was a bit wary with having them behind us, but they seemed lost in their own world, so we pretty much just ignored them. We must have been waiting for about 30 minutes when a songthaew across the street unloaded a gang of little boys, probably aged between 9-11. These weren’t nice little boys, mind you, but rather khlongies, a term the boyfriend made up to refer to those awfully grubby people who squat beside the khlongs (canals) and their generally tacky, obtuse, and rude behavior. These little misfits ran across to where we were sitting and started horsing around, disturbing the bums from their chemically-induced stupor.

Next thing we knew, one of the bums was chasing them around, waving around a whiskey bottle, trying to drive the kids away. While the others were running around and laughing their heads off, tormenting the bum in question, one awful little boy stood right in front of – you guessed it! – ME, staring. The boyfriend sort of waved him away. The boy then hollered at the bum and pointed at – you guessed it again! – ME. For no reason. He spoke something in Thai to the bum. I imagine he was trying to get the bum to mug us, or something worse. Thankfully, as the bum advanced on us, bottle in hand, our songthaew turned up. We hurriedly got on.

I shudder to think what could’ve happened if we were there for another minute more. After the “beat-age” a little over a week ago and now this, I’m completely scared to death of dodgy-looking Thai men, and even khlongie children. I will definitely be picking up a can of mace as soon as humanly possible. Or, one of those taser guns. Or, better yet, a cattle prodder. I don’t think I can survive this place on my wolf charm alone.

I find myself hating this place more and more. Fuck, mai pen rai.