Goddess, I Am.

No, I haven’t dropped off the face of the earth yet again, and I do intend to write something meaningful soon-ish. (And by meaningful, I mean no nonsensical babble on The Equestrian Corner riding apparel.) For the moment, however, this girl is very, very busy and very, very tired, so this sort of cursory update will have to do for now.

This month has been a very hectic one for me. Sixteen days ago, I took a quick day trip to Cambodia to get a 30-day stamp on my passport. A week later found me and my man in Koh Chang for the mini holiday from hell – one that I’ll have to write about, and soon. And last Wednesday, we were off to Vientiane, Laos for another visa run. That’s way too much land travel, even for this Wander Girl, so I’m quite happy to give my trusty backpack – and my feet – a bit of a rest for at least a couple of months or so.

Work wise, I experienced a bit of a dip on my regular income for the past couple of months, so I had no choice but to take on some additional freelance work. I am still, however, by no means secure, so I decided to also take on a part-time job teaching kids how to write. I’ve only been on the job for a couple of days, but it’s been great so far; and apart from the horrendous commute I have to go through every day, I have no complaints.

So why am I working so hard? Well, apart from the obvious “because I can” answer, it’s because I just can’t be idle. Plus, I’m saving up for a MacBook, so for now, it’s all work, work, and work for me. That is, until I keel over from exhaustion, possibly in the middle of Silom. Now that would be something interesting to write about.

I’m babbling, I know. Must get some sleep.

It’s not a secret that I’m not particularly fond of Thais, even if I do live in their country. In fact, I’ve written a derogatory thing or two about them in the past after having observed (and been involved in) some rather unpleasant situations with these people.

Today, however, is one of those days when I will concede that I might have been a bit too harsh on them. Admittedly, after about a year or so in the country, I have, so far, only been exposed to the absolute dregs of Thai society. These are the barely educated, money-grubbing, trouble-making khlongies that one encounters on the street and in public transport, markets, bars, and even in some of the really upscale malls; the very same ones who can barely speak English and have annoying, whiny voices, and manners and odors so bad that I find myself actually physically sick. It’s no surprise that such limited exposure clouded my judgment of the entire Thai populace, leading me to generalize and criticize to no end. Because of that, I apologize.

“Why this change of heart?”, you might wonder. Well, it’s not really so much a change of heart as a perspective that’s been somewhat broadened – an improved awareness, if you may. Today I found myself acquainted with the other side of Thai society, and the experience was more than pleasurable. I met kids so heartbreakingly bright and smart that they actually had potential oozing out of their pores. These are kids who competitively ride horses and hold patents on machinery (I’m talking huge-assed contraptions with important functions; not lame hp printers ink cartridges or what-not.) they invented – all before the age of 18. These are kids who have already achieved great things and are still aspiring for even greater achievements. Yes, these kids are exactly what the people of Thailand should be, and here’s hoping they’ll grow up to be fine, upstanding citizens and turn this place around. For now, I’m just absolutely thrilled that I can help them in the way that I know best.

I am, by no means, in love with Thai people now. I am, however, starting to think that they may not be so bad after all – “may” being the operative word. We’ll see.

I’ve never been particularly good at relationships. I like to think of myself as relationship-challenged, though really, I’m just dysfunctional.

The longest relationship I’ve ever been in was with my college boyfriend, a guy who I’ve known my entire life. It went on for exactly 2 years to the day, during the course of which I lost my virginity in rather disappointing circumstances. We broke up at least twice a month on average, and both had affairs on the side. I eventually ended it because I basically outgrew him. He is now married to one of my mum’s distant cousins, no kidding.

The second longest relationship I’ve had was with a guy who, to this day, insists that what we had wasn’t a relationship, even if it did last for almost 2 years. He’s right, though. We never did go exclusive because he was, in his words, “too selfish” to have a girlfriend. He did tell me he loved me at some point, and there was never any question that I was crazy about him; hence, probably why it lasted that long, albeit on and off.

Other boyfriends and kind-of boyfriends included a junkie who stole my computer and my money (middleton cigars, too, if I had any), an American who I was very briefly engaged to, and another who labeled me his “conquest (to use a slightly less callous word), numbered 800-something-or-other”, to name a few. Indeed, not only was I dysfunctional, I seemed to attract men who were just as bad, if not worse.

Until now. A year ago today, I started dating a man who ended my life as I knew it, and made it as it is now. We’re neither perfect, nor ideal. Sometimes he does my head in, but I know I do too, probably more. It hasn’t been an easy ride, yes, but it hasn’t been difficult either. Indeed, as far as relationships (for me, or anyone else’s) go, we’re nothing short of idyllic.

My past has had more than its fair share of heartbreaks, but maybe it’s true that everything does happen for a reason. Maybe forcing me to go through all those failed relationships was nature’s way of making sure that I learned from my mistakes. Maybe I was meant to suffer before I got him as a reward. Maybe I had to endure the worst to appreciate the best when it does come. Whatever the reason, it’s irrelevant now. He loves me and I love him, and the life we’re building together is all that matters now. Everything else is water under the bridge. I’ve found my Mr. Darcy and my Mr. Big, that same man that every girl wants – not quite perfect, but close enough. And yes, there’s absolutely no doubt in my mind that I’ll be keeping him for a long, long time.

Happy anniversary, my love. You make me so insanely, ridiculously, and deliriously happy on a regular basis. Do stay. Do stay for good.

We’re looking at a long weekend starting tomorrow here in the Land of (Fake) Smiles. Truth be told, that doesn’t really affect me in the least. After all, my days are pretty much the same every day – a constant holiday or work day, depending on how you look at it. But at least, the boyfriend gets a few much-needed days off.

Naturally, we’re taking advantage of the holiday. Tonight, we’re off to Koh Chang on the eastern gulf of Thailand, and we should get there before sunrise. The last time we were there was back in December when it was nice and sunny. Presently, however, it’s the middle of the monsoon season, so there’s probably going to be some rain. I hope there won’t be too much of it, though. We haven’t been to the beach since we went to Krabi in April, and I’m now looking considerably pale. I could really use the sunshine.

I would probably look forward to the trip even more if I didn’t have to work half the time, but, hey, at least I’m on a lovely island with a fantastic beach. Besides, working on the beach is a hell of a lot better than working cross-legged on the couch and getting cramped knees.

(Oh, and I can’t wait to wear my bikinis again, especially now that I’ve lost some weight. Again. If you want to know how I did it, click here.)

In any case, I’ll be back on Sunday, hopefully tanned, relaxed, and with considerably cheerful – and browner – knees.

For the past day or so, that salmon-colored, rectangular-ish thing somewhere near the top of my dashboard that’s telling me to upgrade to Wordpress 2.6 has been bugging me incessantly. I visited my control panel at my host’s to see if there’s a way for them to upgrade the damned thing themselves, but the latest version they had available was still Wordpress 2.5.1. I figured I’d wait a few days because I didn’t really know how to go about it myself.

Then I remembered I had an automatic Wordpress upgrade plugin installed after having read somewhere that it’s a must-have. So rather gleefully, I activated it, thinking that it was going to go through the entire exercise without me having to do anything. Well, it did, in essence – but not before it made me do scary stuff like backing up my database and agreeing to deactivate my plugins; which, I might add, only made me quite panicky. I kept thinking that I didn’t know what to do if it all went awry. Yes, I had a backup of my database, but much good that’s going to do me if I didn’t know what to do with it.

Eventually, the upgrade finished. How long I’ve been holding my breath, I’m not really sure, but it felt good to exhale. So now my blog is running on the all-new Wordpress 2.6, thanks to ‘em geniuses who created such a marvelous plugin. Why (or how) that matters, I have no idea. But at least, I don’t see that salmon-colored, rectangular-ish thing at the top of my dashboard anymore.

Hooray, for bumble and bumble! (Me, a bumbling fool. Get it??? Lame, I know.)