Because I Can Laugh At Myself

Archive for the Category »Because I Can Laugh At Myself «

Well, It Doesn’t Hurt to Dream.

08 Mar 2010 | By Iris

Still on the subject of cars and driving, although the main reason I decided to finally work on my driver’s license was to have another piece of identification, we’ve also been toying with the idea of getting a car sometime this year.

It probably wouldn’t be much of a car, really. After all, we’ve got other more pressing priorities. But say, hypothetically, we had about $100,000 to burn, I would pick these babies any day. Hypothetically. And yes, in this order.

1. The 2010 Ford Mustang Shelby GT500 in the Torch Red color with white racing stripes.

2010MustangShelbyGT500.JEmr6rL6MRUD.jpg

2. The Audi TTS Coupe in Meteor Gray or Brilliant Red.

AudiTTSCoupe.aDpbyyP0aTPG.jpg

3. The Mini Cooper S in yellow or British racing green with white racing stripes. The Husband would be proud of me, truly. He used to drive a Mini Cooper S back in the UK, but the poor man totaled the poor car in a horrible accident that involved a poor deer.

MiniCooperS.Ht2kUvX85o51.jpg

Goodness, if I ever got one of these, I would definitely need to sign up for a 24 hour towing service. I used to drive a piece of shit 1983 Ford Laser that wouldn’t go beyond 40 kilometers per hour, yet I still racked up around 7 speeding accidents - in my first month of driving! With these babies, I think I will definitely be in trouble.

I suppose it’s only a good thing that I can’t afford ‘em. Sigh.

Category: Because I Can Laugh At Myself, Heartstrings, Me Likey! 2 Comments

The Best Bad Movie of ALL Time

04 Mar 2010 | By Iris

As far as guilty pleasures go, there's nothing I love more than bad movies. And no, I don't mean box office flops like Spider-Man 3 or that hideous Gamer. I'm talking about movies so bad that they actually end up being really, really good - all because you've never laughed so hard in your life until you've watched 'em.

I've seen - and enjoyed - plenty of these B movies in my time. But there's none that I love more than my all-time favorite, Sinbad of the Seven Seas. Let one of my (many) favorite scenes tell you why:

Seriously, has anyone heard of a more atrocious dialogue or seen worse acting? I think not! Goodness, I could probably spend the entire afternoon extolling the rather dubious virtues of Lou Ferrigno as Sinbad and John Steiner as the evil Jaffar, but then, I'll probably babble on and on forever! So if you want to learn more - or if you just need a really, really good laugh - read this fantastic review.

He's awesome, this Lou Ferrigno.

Oh, and it you want to watch the entire movie, it's easily available on torrent. Or you can always get it from Amazon for as low as $0.99. Seriously.

Category: Because I Can Laugh At Myself, Me Likey! 2 Comments

Iris is . . .

04 Feb 2010 | By Iris

I usually find the stuff that people do on Facebook ridiculous. I absolutely loathe getting hit by pillows, and I hated that whole underwear color thing that was going around like a cold a few weeks back.

But today I'm suffering from food poisoning after I ate a bad burger from Brothers Burger yesterday and perhaps my brain has been addled so much from all the throwing up that I've been doing that I'm actually finding a new Facebook trend a lot more interesting than the article I'm supposed to be writing on home insurance quotes. So much so, in fact, that I've decided to post it on my blog instead.

So this is how it goes:

1. Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your first name.
2. ~~Copy and paste this as your Facebook status and the FIRST entry for your name under comment.~~

These are my favorites for 'Iris' (unedited, so pardon the bad grammar and spelling in some):

1. beautiful, honest, popular, poise, sensitive girl; she is more than meets the eye.

2. A very beautiful girl who was sent from the heavens to come and pleasure all the men in this world. she is one who colors the world, and brings happiness to all, with a wild side.

3. One of the Most Amazing Girls you'll ever meet. She is one of the nicest people you know, nobody hates her. Easy to fall in love with. A girl you'll never forget. Every Iris is her own person and you'll never meet another like her. Very trustworthy. Has beautiful eyes and a perfect face surrounding. She's more than just a pretty face.

4. A very beautiful, angelic girl with a great smile. When with her, you will feel like the most blissful person on Earth. She has the greatest personality and will be there for you whenever you need her.

6. a beautiful girl inside and out. she is extremely complex and mysterious. nobody truly knows her but that is also what makes her so beautiful. she is the most well-liked girl you know and has an abundance of friends and is the most amazing and caring girl you will ever meet. simply talking to her will change your perception of beauty. she reflects the image of the perfect girl and you will feel incomplete without her.

9. A name for an Asian stripper.

13. A mean girl who thinks she can do whatever she feels like and get away with it. She is dirty minded and makes too many sex jokes.

That was fun, wasn't it? Head on to UrbanDictionary.com to give it a try.

Category: Because I Can Laugh At Myself 3 Comments

Battle of the (Holiday) Bulge

04 Jan 2010 | By Iris

The holidays - you gotta love 'em. After all, it's that happy time of the year when you can eat everything in sight without feeling the slightest twinge of guilt. In my case, at least.

And so here I am at the dawn of a new year with a head full of dreams and a belly that was full of lechon, pastries, and what-have-yous - and still somehow showing it, several days after the fact.

No, I did NOT eat it all. I had help.

I can no longer ignore the fact that my clothes seem a tad - okay, a lot - tighter, and that I haven't seen my toes in a while. Methinks it's time to bring out my hidden cache of the best diet pills ever created for lazy-assed, work-at-home freelance writers like me.

I did consider (however briefly) the idea of hauling my bum off to the gym and sweating the extra pounds away. But I find myself thinking of that disastrous time when I had a gym membership, and I couldn't help but shudder. You would, too, if you threw up on your trainer's shoes after 10 minutes on the elliptical machine! I kid you not.

For all I know, I could be very well and truly banned from Cebu Holiday Gym and Spa, anyway. And I don't want to go anywhere else that doesn't have a pool. And yes, that's me making lame excuses not to exercise.

So it's definitely back to the ol' reliable for me. And for good measure, I could possibly (highly unlikely, but not impossible) pry myself away from this:

This:

Or even this:

Just wait, this lazy-assed, work-at-home freelance writer will look like this again in no time:

Category: Because I Can Laugh At Myself, Me Likey! Tags: Cebu Holiday Gym, freelance writer, New Year's Day One Comment

The Mystery of The Expanding Waistline

21 Aug 2009 | By Iris

How is it possible that my waistline is an inch more than what it was last week? Let's take stock of this week's activities, shall we?

- This week has been all about work, work, and more work. And as we all know, it's nothing short of criminal to work without sustenance, so I've had bags of Goldilocks Caramel Popcorn and those uber-yummy Dentelle Au Chocolat cookies from Don Merto's Les Chocolateries within reach. That's only natural, right? Right???

- We've had endless meetings with the real estate people and some folks from PAG-IBIG this week, thanks to the impending house purchase. This means endless buffets at The Port, the restaurant my mum manages. But again, it's only natural. After all, one can't expect these people to help without at least feeding 'em (and ones' self) lechon, baked oysters, pochero, kare-kare, and grilled pork, to name a few.

- We've discovered that you can buy prime rib-eye steaks from the Rustan's supermarket at about P200 (approximately $4) a kilo. It'll be all wrong not to take advantage of this and not have two steaks each for dinner.

So what was the question again? Tee hee.

Looks like it's back to the old reliable. Half a dose of the world's best diet pills should do the trick. Now to find my supplier from eBay...