So what am I thankful for for the year that’s almost ending?

Golly, where do I start? It was – and still is! – a fantastic and very eventful year that saw me marry the man of my dreams, get to know my adorable nephew, bond with the family again after being gone for some time, land the job that any freelancer will kill for, buy a house that we will be moving into in two years or less, reconnect with friends, finally able to afford a Macbook Pro and bid goodbye to the computer woes that have plagued me for the past 10 years or so (Windows, duh!), learn photography, discover Ancient Rome, help my sister launch a business that I completely believe in, and finally grow up.

Yes, the list of things I’m thankful for this year could go on and on, but I think what it all boils down to is the thing that I’m most thankful for this year, the years that have passed, and the years that are yet to come: L-O-V-E.

Love made it possible for my relationship with The Husband to transition from the almost constant turmoil and drama to the joyful, blissful, and peaceful companionship we enjoy now.

Love makes it possible for me to enjoy every minute I spend with my nephew, even when I have a serious aversion to most children and can only handle them in small quantities.

Love gives me the energy to work from sunup to the next day’s sunrise practically every day, just so I can make time for The Husband, make time for the family, and meet my scary deadlines.

Love makes me indulge The Husband’s expensive Blu-ray habit, even if does make me want to weep sometimes. And I suppose it’s love that makes him look the other way, too, whenever I get a new gadget, or buy too many clothes and shoes and books.

Love keeps me supportive of Mum’s goals, even when most of them will eventually take her far away from us.

Love had me voluntarily buy the domain and the hosting for my sister’s clothing line. Not only that, it’ll be love that will make me finish and launch said site, hopefully before the year ends. It’s also love that’s made me spend the last couple of weeks in a stuffy little booth, hawking swimwear to all and sundry.

Love has me bending over backwards for my bosses, not because I have to, but because I genuinely want to. They’re great people, and I love my job even more because of them. The fact that they love me enough to pay me extremely well is a welcome bonus. And it’s awesome that I don’t have to do a job search after every project ends – a freelancer’s nightmare.

Love (or something very close to it) keeps what few friends I have still speaking to me, even when I’m a horrible correspondent.

Love for my Mac has me taking care of him like he’s my first born and a real person, and I daresay that Octavian loves me, too, because he has never let me down!

Love of life and memories got me to buy Caesar, my camera, and it’s my newfound love of the craft that has me reading photography books aplenty and taking countless pictures.

Again, I could go on and on about why I’m thankful to and for love – but then, it’s probably going to take me another year! If this doesn’t win me a Moleskine planner, I don’t know what will, tee hee.

What about you? What are you thankful for this year? Who knows? It might win you a Moleskine. (Though nasty little me hopes not!)

UPDATE: I didn’t win the planner. I hope I can find one for sale!

I didn’t have a proper color motif, for one thing. My cake was violet, my entourage wore just about any color they felt like wearing at the time, and my shoes were burgundy to match The Husband’s shirt.

For another, nobody (The Husband and myself, included) knew what we were supposed to be doing half the time. The program was put together at the very last minute, the host was exasperated, and the bloopers were plenty.

Needless to say, everyone loved every minute of it. Our wedding was fun and carefree and completely hilarious at times. Our 20-odd guests were mostly close family and friends, and there was just so much laughter and smiles all night that, really, the messiness just didn’t matter.

Probably one of my favorite things about our wedding was the extremely unique concept that we chose for our wedding invitations and giveaways.

For the invite, we wrapped a small dessert fork in shimmery burgundy. Tied in ribbons of gold and silver were the tags detailing the entourage, the venue details and a map. And why a fork? Read the text:

If you can’t read the text, it says:

“We’ve come to a fork in the road…

Join us in our journey to happy ever after.”

And if you haven’t already guessed, the giveaways were teaspoons wrapped in shimmery silver, along with a single Hershey’s Kiss.

The text might not be very clear, but it says:

“We thank you for coming with a SPOONFUL of kisses

to bless our beginning as Mr. and Mrs.!”

I think it’s cute, don’t you? The idea wasn’t entirely original, however. I found the spoon idea in some obscure site when I was looking for unique ideas for invites, and just took the fork idea from there. I figured it would be pretty cool. After all, not everyone can think of giving their guests an entire cutlery set on their own wedding.

Indeed, I do find myself lucky. Unlike other people who spend their weddings smiling until their faces hurt, entertaining guests they barely know, I knew my guests and loved them all, and my smile couldn’t have been more genuine. The happiest day of my life was, indeed, a happy one, and it’s a night I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Months later, I was a good 15 pounds heavier and finding it next to impossible to cut down on food. It didn’t help that I worked from home and maintained a largely sedentary lifestyle. With my wedding a month away, I decided to take matters into my own hands and started taking fat burners.

This is what I looked like on my birthday back in March (my arms = ick), a few days before I started ‘em pills (and yes, that’s Chinese food you’re seeing – patatim, anyone?):

This is what I looked like – post pills – on my wedding:

This is what I looked like on vacation with the family a few weeks later – and what I still look like now (I slouch and it’s bad, I know!):

Whoever said weight isn’t everything has never lost any. It feels good!

]]> http://goddess-i-am.com/2009/05/30/a-weight-y-matter-part-trois/feed/ 1 http://goddess-i-am.com/2009/04/18/today/ http://goddess-i-am.com/2009/04/18/today/#comments Fri, 17 Apr 2009 20:20:46 +0000 Iris http://goddess-i-am.com/?p=413 . . . I get married.

And it’s going to be beautiful.

So here I was, almost resigned to the idea that I will never lose the excess poundage in time for the wedding, when I found out that my best friend (who has always had a perfect figure for as far as I can remember) was using a certain brand of weight loss pills.

Now, I was very iffy about going down this route because I didn’t want to have to deal with the usual icky side effects like diarrhea, or worse, uncontrollable oily discharge from somewhere I won’t even mention (I used Xenical back in 2007). She assured me, however, that there will be none of that. So, like a woman possessed, I found her eBay (where else?) supplier, read up on the specifics, called my mum to ask if she wanted any (she did), and placed my first orders.

From what I read about it, Pearl White Express Slim works by zapping the appetite. All I had to do was take a pill before breakfast and another before dinner, and I’ll be shedding pounds faster than anyone could say “diet!” Sure enough, I developed an aversion to food from day one. I felt full the entire day, and I literally had to force myself to eat even just a little for fear that I would simply collapse from the hunger that I never even felt.

Within a week (less, even), I lost about 5 pounds and a couple of inches on my waistline. This decrease has been steadily going on since – and I’m not even done yet! Those pairs of jeans that were worryingly getting much too tight were suddenly loose, almost baggy, and I ended up buying a new pair in size – drumroll, please – 26! Mind you, I haven’t been a 26 since college! The most defining moment, however, came about a week ago when I put on my favorite white shorts – the very same pair that was comfortably snug barely 2 weeks before – and the whole thing just slid off cleanly down what’s left of my hips. I was ecstatic, of course – even if it meant that I was officially suddenly in dire need of a new wardrobe!

I am now down to taking 1 pill every couple of days or so, and, thankfully, I still don’t have much appetite. I am now just eating out of obligation (and because The Fiance practically force-feeds me now) – which, I admit, is a bit frustrating at times because I have always loved to eat. I still do get cravings sometimes these days, but when I do indulge myself, I find myself stopping at a certain point because I simply can’t take in anymore. Even when I’m hell-bent on binging, I find myself a bit sick whenever I eat even just a tad more than what is now normal to me – a far, far cry from how much I used to eat (probably just a third of my food intake of old).

There really isn’t much to say about side effects. The only thing I could probably complain about is the mouth dryness, which is leading me to drink gallons upon gallons of water all day. I’ve always loved water, though, so I’m not really fussed.

Of course, there is always the question of health. Is it healthy to lose this much weight this fast? Are the pills even safe? I can’t answer these questions, so do think things over before you do something drastic like this. Better yet, ask your doctor.

I did suspect that those headaches I was complaining about had something to do with this regimen, but I think it was mostly because I was losing out on the vitamins and nutrients that I was normally taking in. I hardly eat these days, so they were obviously not getting replenished. That’s why I decided to start taking my vitamin supplements religiously – to somehow replace the good stuff that I was losing.

I’m hardly getting headaches these days, but I’m not sure if this is because of the supplements, or because I’ve cut down on the pills, or because I’ve been given permission to work from home indefinitely, or even because I am now wearing glasses. I probably will never know for sure.

I’ve never really been one to obsess about my weight because it’s been going up and down like a yo-yo for most of my adult life, so I have been, for the most part, quite used to it. I’ve always taken comfort in the fact that I never really get fat enough to be disgusting. In fact, even at my absolute heaviest, I have not once exceeded my normal body mass index (BMI).

Still, it does feel good to be skinny enough to wear the summer clothes that I like without wondering if I was trying too hard. I like being confident that I’ll look super great on my wedding and that I’ll turn heads at the beach again. Yes, skinny might be overrated. But I think I’ll live with that for quite a while, thank you very much!

This week saw Scott McIntyre finally given the boot. I’ve been saying it for weeks: he should have been eliminated early on because he was probably one of the show’s weakest contestants. Even so, I think it was probably the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever witnessed. After all, I am not such a heartless bitch to gloat over a blind guy’s elimination. And he did have his moments, mind you. I will forever remember him as the blind guy who Ryan Seacrest (futilely) tried to high-five.

Ryan Seacrest’s Defining Moment

Now, this is a bit late, considering that this year’s top 13 has been whittled down to 7 with the precision of an advancing Roman legion (sorry, I still can’t get the Roman stuff out of my system), but I am going to give my two cents’ worth on the rest of the contestants. All 13 of them (in no particular order). Because I feel like it. So deal with it.

1. Allison Iraheta.

She was definitely one of my early favorites. I can never forget her version of Alone by Heart, which, as we all know, got her past the top 36. She gave me goosebumps because she was that awesome. And to think she’s only 16.

I personally think she’s the only female contestant who actually has a shot (albeit a slim one, thanks to Adam Lambert) at winning AI this year.

2. Adam Lambert.

I do not doubt even for one second that he may actually will win AI this year. He’s overrated, yes, but he does have talent. As far as performers go, the guy is a genius. He has proven week after week that he can make any song his own. That includes his oh-so strange rendition of Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire – a performance that actually left me, umm, very confused.

He also has tons of personality and quite a flair for dramatics. He is everything that an AI winner should be, which is slightly unfair to everyone else because he does have several years of theater training to back him up. I don’t necessarily love him – and he’s definitely not my favorite – but I do admire him plenty.

His performance of Mad World by Tears for Fears this week had me swooning over a gay guy, imagine. Simon Cowell even gave him a standing ovation. Really, they might as well end the whole show early and name him the winner because we all know that’s what they want to happen.

3. Michael Sarver.

So-so singer, so-so looks, so-so personality. I think the only mildly interesting thing about him is the fact that he works for an oil rig in Texas and he looks oh-so fatherly. I was rooting for him during eliminations because I completely admired his background and thought how cool it would be if a roughneck won AI. After that, I completely forgot about him, which was inevitable, considering the stellar talents of some of the other finalists. Apparently, so did America because he was the fourth person to get the boot.

4. Danny Gokey.

Also another guy I was rooting for during eliminations, but stopped liking now. Don’t get me wrong. He’s a great singer, and his voice is probably one of the best there is. The problem is he tries too hard, and from what I could read of his demeanor, I think he’s starting to think he’s hot stuff.

The judges, however, love him most of the time (this week’s performance was horrible, and they still liked it!). I think it’s this partiality that makes him Adam Lambert’s most serious threat. I still don’t like him. In fact, I hate him more every week.

5. Jorge Nuñez.

I personally think Jorge was eliminated too early. He was one of the two contestants given the boot in the first elimination round. I think the judges completely manipulated the rest of America to vote him out because his performance that night wasn’t as bad as, say, Anoop Desai’s (more on him in a bit). It was so-so, yes, but it wasn’t bad, and I personally think there were at least a couple of other contestants that deserved the elimination more than he did that night. It would’ve been nice to see more of what he could do.

6. Anoop Desai.

He is definitely my second least favorite contestant. I think he’s ugly, but he seems to be one of those guys who think they’re more good-looking than they really are. His voice is bland, and his performances are annoying. He’s like one of those Indians/Pakis who pretend to be black.

And that’s not the worse of it. He has a monobrow so thick that he probably has to shampoo it every morning. He should’ve been eliminated instead of Jorge that night because he definitely deserved it. I wish to God America will just stop voting for him. But then, considering the number of Indians spreading like flies all over the US (like they do everywhere else), I’m not surprised why he’s still there, week after week.

Still, I do hope next week will be his last. A girl can dream, right?

7. Alexis Grace.

This is another contestant that was wrongly eliminated because Anoop was still around. Although she never would’ve won, she was still quite good. She was also very pretty. Too bad her song choices didn’t do her justice. If she was just given a chance to stick around longer, she probably would’ve been great.

8. Megan Joy.

The other pretty blonde girl in the contest. I love, love, loved Megan. I was very surprised when she didn’t make it through the top 36 elimination because she did Corinne Bailey Rae’s Put Your Records On really, really well. Thankfully, the judges picked her in the Wild Card round.

Megan probably had the most unique voice in the contest. I loved the jazzy/bluesy thing that she had going on. Unfortunately, such a voice meant that there were very few songs that she could actually get away with.

Admittedly, her last two performances – and song choices – were pretty bad, but I personally think that the judges were pretty hell-bent on getting rid of her way before that. She was given pretty bad feedback for her version of Michael Jackson’s Rockin’ Robin early on when I think it was really, really quite good. And she knew it, too. She knew exactly that they wanted her out, so she pretty much threw the judges’ BS back in their faces as a last hurrah. The girl definitely had moxie.

9. Scott McIntyre.

He’s blind, so I think he got sympathy votes aplenty. To be fair to the guy, though, he can sing, play the piano AND guitar, and has a sense of humor. I’m still heartbroken for him. He probably needed this contest more than anyone else.

10. Lil Rounds.

She’s so . . . typical. She has one of those typical big-black-girl voices that gets quite tedious after awhile. And I’m not saying this meanly or anything, but, really, her ass is HUUUUGE! It’s astonishing.

Oh, and she seems to be choosing the wrong songs week after week, which, I believe, is really starting to annoy the judges, so she’s definitely not their golden girl anymore. Here’s hoping she goes soon. After Annoying Anoop, that is.

11. Matt Giraud.

Sometimes he’s good, sometimes he’s not. But really, I couldn’t care less about him.

Don’t get me wrong. He does sound awfully good, most of the time. It’s just that I think he’s trying too hard to be Justin Timberlake. They actually do kind of sound alike. He has the piano thing going on, and, if I remember correctly, the dancing is pretty similar, too. He also dresses like JT, hat and all. But probably the weirdest thing is they actually do kind of look alike. (Can anyone say, “copycat?”)

Of course, JT looks a hundred times better, naturally. I would say that Matt is the poor man’s version of Justin Timberlake – which really makes him about as special as my toe clippings. Oh, and he has abnormally huge thighs – a fact that was pointed out to me by my sister, of which I completely agree.

12. Jasmine Murray.

If Anoop is my second least favorite, Jasmine is definitely the one who gets the top spot. Why? Let’s see. She can’t sing. At all. She was forever trying to sing songs that were much too big for her, so I could not, for the life of me, understand why the judges picked her during the Wild Card round.

Thankfully, we didn’t have to endure much of her as she was eliminated right after the first round (along with Jorge). Ahhhh . . . American Idol still does make sense sometimes.

13. Kris Allen.

Naturally, I have saved my favorite contestant for last.

I’ll be the first person to admit that I’ve never noticed him before. When he won a slot in the top 13 over Megan, I was like, “huh?” I couldn’t even remember what he did to deserve that.

Once he was in the top 13, however, it was hard to look away from him. The man is insanely gorgeous in a boy-next-door kind of way. But his smile isn’t the only thing that is getting my heart atwitter, mind you. The man can really, really, REALLY sing (and play the guitar and the piano)! Seriously, he seems to be going from strength to strength each week, which means that he might actually be someone who can seriously challenge Adam, Danny, and Allison for the top spot. Admittedly, his last performance wasn’t up to his usual standards, but I’m sure he’ll do tons better next week and the weeks to come, all the way up to the finals.

Ah yes, I am definitely crushing on Kris Allen, especially after he sang Bill Withers’ Ain’t No Sunshine last week, much to The Fiance’s chagrin. I suppose it’s a good thing that he’s happily married, or else I might decide to marry him instead. (Just kidding, hon. You know you are the love of my life (and the pain in my ass). )

All in all, I’m glad shows like American Idol exist. It’s exactly the sort of mindless entertainment that I need to unwind and cheer up my cranky brain.

And speaking of which, I’m off to bed. But before that, I’ll leave you with some of my favorite performances (so far) this season:

Allison Iraheta’s Alone

Adam Lambert’s Mad World

Megan Joy’s Walkin’ After Midnight

Kris Allen’s Ain’t No Sunshine

I’m not going to go into any details because I do wish to keep certain things private (believe it, or not), but in a nutshell, the entire week was a seemingly endless cycle of hurts and anger and tears. To be perfectly honest, we were this close to calling off the wedding, white gold rings and all, because there was a point when it seemed like marriage was the biggest mistake we were ever likely to make.

Yes, it was THAT bad, and yes, it was absolute torture. But yes, it also had to happen. Despite the pain we both put each other through, I’m still glad that that’s over with. That we’ve really and truly addressed issues so sensitive that we’ve always found ourselves skirting around them in the past. That we’ve said everything that needed to be said in all honesty without having to water anything down. That the floodgates opened then when we still had every chance to walk away before a marriage certificate made it all too late. That somehow we emerged unscathed from what could have easily been the end of the road for us.

From the moment the very last round of accusations and insults was exhausted, we knew for sure what we’ve always known all along – that we can never be apart. The frightening doubts have left with the last of the hurtful expletives. And just as suddenly as it came, that single week in hell finally left us in peace.

Our love has been strong right from the start, but our relationship was more fragile than we both cared to admit – that is, until we were forced to face everything that was wrong about us. For the first time in 20 months, we are finally meeting halfway. We know each other so well now that if we were to exchange bodies, nobody will ever be able to tell the difference.

We are now stronger, wiser, and infinitely closer. We are happier – not in the giddy and excited way that is fleeting, but in contented bliss that lasts. We now respect each other more, and we’re both more appreciative of the other.

Yes, we really are now ready to live the rest of our lives together. And we look forward to forever.

My headaches don’t really have a specific trigger, so I can’t really blame flickering light bulbs or bad perfume for my ordeal. Rather, they just happen. I would normally wake up in the morning dizzy with my head throbbing dully. It gets progressively worse from the moment I step out of the house. It gets particularly bad around midday and well into the evening. As a result, I’m hardly getting any work done because not only does it hurt to think and write, it is absolute agony if I even so much as turn my head my inch. This has been going on for the past couple of weeks.

Naturally, I’m quite alarmed, so I’ve been trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. I’ve ruled out pregnancy because I just had my period, and I still think that I’m at least 85% infertile (don’t ask). The Fiance believes the diet pills that I’ve been taking (this will be another story) may have something to do with this, but I totally doubt it when my mum and my best friend who are both using the same pills feel fine.

Personally, I’m thinking that this has something to do with the combination of rapid weight loss, a declining eyesight, a full-time day job that I hate (and bosses who yell a lot and office mates who sing even more), several freelancing gigs (and difficult clients), and a semi-decent wedding to plan (and an irrational fear of getting jilted). As it turns out, I may be right.

After doing a bit of research on the different types of headaches (there are about seven), I’ve found out that I’m more than likely suffering from chronic tension headaches. All the symptoms – from the vice-like ache around my forehead to my inability to turn my head as I please – seem to confirm this. It even mentions the very sleeping pattern that I’ve been suffering for years, even when I’m bone-tired – how I have trouble falling asleep, how I wake up frequently during the night, and how I wake up earlier than I’m supposed to. All these can be attributed to just about any form of stress there is, and heaven knows I am more overextended than Hillary Clinton.

As accurate as this information might seem, though, I’m still taking it with a grain of salt. After all, nobody should self-diagnose over the Internet. That’s why yesterday I paid a visit to an eye clinic. Sure enough, my vision is in a pretty bad state, so I got myself a pair of prescription glasses. Considering I spend about 12 hours on the computer every day, I’m hoping that this will fix my problem for good. I don’t fancy having to go to some useless doctor who will probably just turn his nose up at me and give me a prescription for even more Tylenol.

I’ve got less than an hour before I can leave work and pick up my new specs. For now, I’m going to spend the next few minutes resisting the urge to bang my head on my desk, hoping against hope that it’ll knock me out cold so I can at least get some sleep and forget this cursed throbbing.

It’s a very long story, but, in a nutshell, the NSO helpline is a bleeding mess, which resulted in some of our documents turning up over a week later than they were supposed to. And so it was that I found myself drowning in mountains of paperwork that needed to be filed pronto if we were to have the wedding on the 18th as planned. If it wasn’t for my mother’s seemingly endless connections, I’d still be drowning in photocopies.

The earliest possible time that we can get our marriage license is on the 7th of April, which is really cutting it a bit fine already because we still need to speak to the judge and Lord only knows what else. Here’s hoping mum can work more of her magic.

One thing’s for sure: I hate Philippine bureaucracy and all its useless nonsense. How I wish we can just go on one of those Vegas vacations and have Elvis marry us. After all, he’s not dead, you know!

It all started when I bought my first one in 2007 before I left for Thailand. It was a large, bulky thing with a 14-inch screen that I got on a 6-month installment scheme, and I must say that it was definitely the best investment I’ve ever made because it ended up being my meal ticket.

Because I wrote for a living, I loved how I could take it with me everywhere. Eventually, however, the novelty wore off and it weighed me down quite literally. I used to carry all 7 kilos of it in a backpack, and it gave me horrible back and shoulder problems. And because it was a rather tacky brand (the best I could do at the moment), its performance went progressively downhill from day one – enough to be annoying, but nothing to be alarmed about.

I then developed a wandering eye. I would trawl through shops, longingly inspecting sleek, lightweight models with features that made my old, reliable, less-than-a-year-old lappie look like a relic from the ruins of Pompeii. I almost succumbed to the urge to splurge a couple of times, but thanks to the voice of reason (The Fiance’s), I managed to walk away from the shiny, pink Vaios and Macbooks aplenty in Bangkok’s Panthip Plaza.

And so it was that the next few months found me toiling with that laptop and all its familiar quirks – that is, until I managed to save up some money. I somehow convinced myself and The Fiance that I will be a hunchback in a year if I carry on lugging that monstrosity around Southeast Asia. I still couldn’t afford a Macbook, but I could get one of those ridiculously cute netbooks. I then dragged him to Future Park Rangsit one evening where I got one of those oh-so handy Acer Aspire Ones in white.

At that time, they only had the 8GB ones that ran on Linux. If I wanted the ones that ran on Windows XP, I had to wait a couple of weeks until they came in. Looking back, I probably could’ve waited, but with my typical impatience, I reasoned that I’m only going to use it to write and browse, anyway, and I still had “oldie” if I somehow needed to use Windows, so why not? Plus, it was cheaper. And that was how Gretchen (Chin forced me to name it) came into my life.

She didn’t disappoint for a while. With only a 9-inch screen, she was so small and she hardly weighed a thing. I could simply stash her in my purse and forget that she was even there. I bought an 8GB SD memory card to give her a bit of a memory upgrade and found a way to install Firefox 3 so I could browse with a slightly bigger screen, and we were happy. Still, she was nowhere near the Macbook of my dreams, so it wasn’t long before I started to tire of her and her spartan features and to look at the shiny new netbooks available these days with their huge hard drives and prettier colors.

I still have both laptops. Nearly two years old now, the bigger one is running on the dregs of its ancient battery, so it’s not good for traveling anymore. It freezes almost all the time now and crashes when pushed to do too much. It even wheezes like an old person, and if it could speak, I suspect it’ll beg The Fiance (who uses it most of the time) for retirement.

At 7 months old, young Gretchen is really not so young anymore. She has a very temperamental charger that only works when it feels like it. The older one’s charger does work with her sometimes when plugged in the right angle, but I can’t use it too often when “oldie” barely has 2 minutes on its battery. So poor Gretchen is almost always dead these days, and when she is working, she messes up the multiple inboxes I set up on my Gmail because her screen is so little. Not only that, I can’t seem to find the inspiration to write when I use her. She still runs pretty fast, though, which is an upside of her running on a Linux system. Still, I can’t be bothered to sort out her little issues because I do most of my work on my office computer now, anyway, for lack of better options.

So as you probably can tell by now, I am, once again, dying to get my hands on a new laptop. And with a rather healthy statement balance on our joint bank account, it is, indeed, quite a challenging exercise on self-control. After all, I am going to be a very married woman soon enough, so I can’t just be frivolous at a whim anymore.

But hey, that doesn’t mean a girl can’t dream, and this girl is dreaming of a 13-inch Macbook Aluminum.

Or, at least, the Vivenne Tam edition of the HP Mini 1000.

Drat. Where’s that fairy godmother when you need one?