Whenever I blabber about Rome and the Caesars, people automatically assume that I'm a fan of the HBO series. Well, I'm not.
Let me clarify. I found Rome entertaining enough. I loved how the show and its characters looked, how they sounded, the costumes, the language, the set, almost everything - except for the fact that the writers completely butchered the characters of what is probably the most fascinating part of history. I watched 4 episodes - and I just couldn't watch anymore. With the risk of sounding a tad sanctimonious, I just found the inaccuracy quite painful, and I simply couldn't stand having to exclaim indignantly every few minutes or so.
Here are the reasons why, in no particular order:
1. Quintus Pompey. Simply put, there is no - nor has there ever been - a Quintus Pompeius. Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus' (Pompey the Great's) sons were Gnaeus Pompeius (the admiral) and Sextus Pompeius (the pirate). That's common knowledge, and one does not need degrees from a multitude of online degree programs to know that.
Even Quintus Pompey's Wiki pretty much stresses that he's a baseless character without a real purpose. Why, oh why, couldn't they just use one of Pompey's real sons to make the show a bit more credible? It wouldn't have been a complete hardship to do so.
2. Atia. If the real Atia Balba Caesonia could see what the writers of Rome did to her character, she would turn in her grave. (Or at least, in her urn - Romans preferred cremation.)
Augustus' mother was a quiet woman who was devoted to her sickly son to a fault. Right about the time the events of Rome were unfolding, she was still very much married to Lucius Marcius Philippus, her second husband. Atia was never promiscuous, nor was she as evil as the show made her out to be. In fact, she was one of Rome's most well-loved matrons, and like a true Julia (as women of the Julii were known), she was quite above any suspicion.
That part where she supposedly sends her son - her sickly son, I might add - to Gaul to deliver a white horse to Caesar and he gets kidnapped is possibly the worst Hollywood fabrication I've ever seen. Poor Octavian couldn't even be around horses until he was well into adulthood because of a lung condition, and that trip probably would've killed him right there and then. There goes the Roman Empire!
The only slur on Atia's character occurred shortly after Philippus, who was a lot older than her, died. She ended up marrying Philippus' eldest son (also a Lucius) - her stepson - well before the accepted mourning period was over. And her son, who by then was known as Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus (or Octavian), disowned her.
3. Servilia. Now this woman was pure evil, even as a child. In fact, the show's portrayal of Atia would've been more appropriate for the famous Servilia Caepionis. It made my blood boil watching how they made her look like a poor, wronged woman for half the show when really, she's absolutely vile.
Which brings me to her son . . .
4. Brutus. Ahh, where do I start with Marcus Junius Brutus?
In Rome, he was portrayed as a close confidant of Caesar's who served with him in the Gallic wars. Not only that, he was meant to have looked on Caesar as a father. What utter rubbish!
There was no love lost between the real Marcus Junius Brutus and Caesar. This particular Brutus was once engaged to Caesar's daughter, Julia, but Caesar broke off the engagement so Pompey the Great could marry Julia instead, which broke young Brutus' heart. This and the fact that he was very close to his uncle Marcus Porcius Cato Uticensis (a lifelong enemy of Caesar's) indicates that he disliked Caesar enormously.
Not only that, the real Marcus Junius Brutus was a coward. He NEVER served with Caesar in the Gallic wars. He was too busy making money in Asia Minor. In fact, the first time he ever picked up a sword in battle was in Pharsalus. And coward that he was, he immediately surrendered to Caesar after his side lost to spare himself. Moreover, Marcus Junius Brutus was butt-ugly, which makes Tobias Menzies completely wrong for the job of playing him.
Now there was, in fact, a Brutus who served with Caesar in Gaul. This particular Brutus did see Caesar as a father and really was quite devoted to him for a long time. This is none other than Decimus Junius Brutus. Oh, and his mother was Sempronia Tuditani, not Servilia Caepiones.
I'm thinking the writers of Rome confused both Brutuses big time, probably because both men figured in Caesar's assassination later. Methinks some people really need to brush up on their history - maybe in an online university perhaps?
5. Octavia. And yet another woman wronged by the butchering of Hollywood writers. Octavia was the darling of the Roman people. She was famous for her virtue and her kindness, practically a goddess, and to be portrayed as a dishonored woman in Rome was simply sacrilegious.
One of the episodes showed her being offered to Pompey the Great as a bride by her mother Atia, and he even got to have sex with her before he rejected her for Cornelia Metella! Oh, I saw red, I tell you!
For one thing, the Octavia offered to Pompey the Great by Caesar (not Atia, mind you) was Octavia Major - Atia's stepdaughter and the eldest daughter of Gaius Octavius from a previous marriage. Pompey the Great rejected her outright because she wasn't a true Julia. Oh, and there was never any undue fornication because these men were much too honorable for that.
For another, Octavia Minor would've been too young to get married (or to have been married, for that matter, as she was portrayed in the show). In fact, she was probably no more than 15 years old. Really, these are things that a little bit of research could easily uncover! Why, a simple Wikipedia search would even do it!
And don't get me started on Spartacus and Cleopatra. Really, I truly, truly hate Hollywood sometimes. It's a shame, though, because the show really did look and feel authentic, and I probably would've enjoyed it, if I didn't know any better.
Would I ever live to see the day that Hollywood finally got something right?
He's awesome, this Lou Ferrigno.
