Goddess, I Am.

Chin once told me that she envied my portable life. That was back in 2007 when I packed up and left for Thailand.

Everything I owned could fit in a single suitcase. I was free to come and go whenever I pleased. Those were among the best days of my life, and like Chin then, I envy my portable life now.

These days, I’m feeling that all too familiar restlessness again, that itch go someplace far and exotic – not for a few days’ holiday, but to stay for a while, to stay indefinitely. And in theory, I could. After all, that’s the beauty of working online. I don’t have to worry about how I’m going to feed and shelter myself in some exciting foreign land.

But a theory is all it is for me now, now that I’m married and can never think solely for myself ever again. My life is still fairly portable (or I can make it so in a heartbeat because I don’t exactly go crazy on wholesale appliances). Why, I can give away most of my clothing and my shoes and my books and I won’t even bat an eyelash. All I need are a few t-shirts, some underwear, a few pairs of pants, my laptop, my iPad, and my camera, and I’m a happy camper. The Husband, however, is another story.

You see, he gets very attached to things, like his huge-ass TV and home theater system, his hundreds of Blu-Ray movies, his electric couch, and even the goddamned refrigerator. Most of these things traveled all the way from England to Thailand when he moved to Bangkok in 2006, and again from Thailand to the Philippines in 2008. When we do move again, he’s going to insist on taking all of these with us, plus everything else we’ve bought since.

And if you’ve ever had to go through the ordeal of moving furniture and appliances from one country to another, you’ll know it’s not a walk in the park. So it goes without saying that moving from one country to another on a whim is out of the question, and when we do move again, it’ll have to be a big one (read: for good) to make the most out of the time, money, and gargantuan effort that transporting his stuff will demand.

Heavens, why do material things have to make life so complicated?

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Tags: Bangkok, iPad, Thailand, the Philippines, United Kingdom

I figured out a long time ago that I want to write for the rest of my life. And that’s exactly what I’ve been doing. I earn a very good living out of it, too, so I really can’t complain.

But writing hundreds – if not, thousands – of online content for subjects you really do not care a thing about . . . well, it just gets to you. Every once in a while, I find myself wondering what the hell I’m doing writing about constipation (among others) when I ought to be writing a novel, or a memoir, or something that may very well win a Pulitzer (who knows?), or at least something that would reach out and touch people, bowel problems notwithstanding. Then I go through the whole litany of reasons why I’m settling for what I am doing, and I end up forcing myself to be grateful for the chance to even write at all and get paid for it to boot!

Still, this doesn’t stop me from wishing I was a more ‘serious’ writer. I would love to be respected, to be revered, to have a cult following. I would love to see my name in print, preferably under the words “#1 New York Times Bestseller.” It’s all fanciful thinking, I know. But does it really have to be?

Every day, I’m getting to know myself more. I’m starting to figure out what I want out of life beyond the next 6 months. And I’m starting to make the plans that would make me the person – and by extension, the writer – that I want to be.

First thing’s first – I need formal training in writing. I don’t have one, you know, not even a humble certificate from a writing workshop. I’d like to go back to school and get an MA in Creative Writing. And I’m not talking about an Online College, either. I’ve found that there are universities and colleges in London and the U.S. and Canada that would take on post-graduate students for their writing programs, even without a writing-related undergraduate degree. Of course, one will have to prove one’s aptitude in writing in a 5000-word essay to be considered, and even then, one will have to be prepared to spend thousands of dollars (or even pounds sterling!) to take the course. Unless, of course, one somehow lands a scholarship, which is already the most fanciful of all fanciful thinking.

Well, I don’t think I’ll be landing a scholarship anywhere anytime soon (or even ever), nor do I have thousands of dollars (or pounds) to spare. But I will write that 5000-word essay, anyway, in between constipation [articles]. Just in case.

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Tags: Canada, iPad, London, Massachusetts, New York Times, online content, United States, writer

Watching cheesy Tagalog movies is something of a guilty pleasure for me. (Admit it, it’s yours, too!) So because The Bestie had a rare free day, we decided to watch In Your Eyes along with The Sister. After all, how often do we get to watch this sort of crap? Not often enough, I tell you!

Anyhow, the movie certainly did not disappoint in that area. It wasn’t deliciously bad like, say, the classic Sinbad of the Seven Seas, or even the most recent Step Up 3D (hey, at least it was in 3D AND mysterious Asian Glee guy was in it). It was just . . . BAD. Bad casting, atrocious writing, and horrendous acting – you name it, it had it.

But what really struck me most about the whole “badness” of it all was NOT Richard Gutierrez’s horrid and often inappropriate acting, nor was it Ann Curtis’s unbelievably pathetic character. It was Claudine Barreto’s – wait for it! – BODY! Really, how could anyone look so close – emphasis on CLOSE – to needing plus size lingerie yet have anorexic-looking limbs? She looked a lot like a peach that somebody stuck a few toothpicks in as arms and legs!

To illustrate, imagine this little guy in wedges:

Methinks somebody’s been going the (literally) old Belo route. Though I can’t understand why anyone would decide to go there and not just go all the way. Especially when there’s a (supposedly) big movie role that calls for it.

But seriously, how cute is that picture of a smiling peach going fishing? Tee hee.

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Tags: Ann Curtis, Belo, Claudine Barreto, iPad, Richard Gutierrez

My apologies to my readership of 5 (???) for the lack of what I believe are read-worthy posts. Really, all I do these days is work, and that’s not much to write home about, is it?

Not only that, I’ve also been, to quote Chin, a very sad little ninja these past few months. I am constantly plagued by a horrible, sinking feeling that somewhere along the way, I allowed my life to take a very wrong turn. So I just feel frustrated, unsatisfied, STUCK.

It’s a frightful, hateful feeling, this depression, and while it’s taking up a lot of my energy, it’s taking even more to try to snap out of it. So for the moment, I’m just rolling with it and thinking plenty.

There really should be some sort of disability insurance for this sort of infinite, debilitating sadness so we can all wallow in misery in peace, preferably with all the chocolate ice cream and potato chips in the world.

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Location:Talamban Rd,Cebu City,Philippines

Tags: energy, iPad, potato chips

The Husband’s been sick the past few days, so I took him to watch The Expendables today. I figured it would make him feel better, and it did!

Good God, I’ve never seen the general male population more exuberant. It was a lot like watching 4-year-olds sneakily playing with led xmas lights on, umm, Christmas. Case in point, while we were queuing up, some random American guy we didn’t know came up to The Husband out of nowhere with arms wide open, declaring in a loud, booming voice that it was “the best movie EVER” (or something to that effect). I actually thought the guy was going to hug him! Shocking, that was.

And did I enjoy it? Truth be told, I was actually looking forward to it more than I let on. (But please don’t tell The Husband that, or I’ll never hear the end of it.) I mean, seriously, the best action stars all in one movie, Jason Statham, and did I mention Jason Statham? What’s not to enjoy?

The movie itself was a little dumb, a tad too farfetched, a bit sexist, and really quite ridiculous when you think about it. But oh, it was such great FUN! So yes, if you could just get off your high horse and spend a couple of hours being a non-thinking person, chances are you’ll enjoy the show.

Still, I think it could’ve been better. Here’s why:

1. Jason Statham should NOT be allowed to look like a lumberjack. He should either be IN a suit:

Or, OUT of it:

‘Nuff said.

2. Jet Li is fuckin’ JET LI! He does NOT need saving, even by Sylvester Stallone. As it was, Sly spent most of the movie saving him from some bad guy or another. That’s just wrong!

3. Bruce Willis’s airbrushing was absolutely unnecessary. Please! He looked exactly like he did in Surrogates, and that was some really bad shit.

4. If they were going to go the whole sexist, damsel-half-your-age-in-distress route, they could’ve at least chosen a better-looking ‘totty’. (That’s a word I learned from The Husband, and I’ve been dying to use it!)

5. Sly shouldn’t have given said totty his ‘account number’. Seriously, who gives out their account numbers these days? And how did he expect her to access it? It would’ve been easier to send money through Western Union.

6. Said totty also should’ve just run off with Sly. The poor man needed to get laid. He would’ve deserved it, too, after everything he did for her.

7. Mickey Rourke really should’ve been in on the action, not stuck in that awful tattoo shop.

I could think of a lot more, but I don’t have all night. And I’m afraid that if I think about it too much, I’ll grow a set [of balls]. I’ll quit while I’m still gonad-free, thank you very much!

If you’ve got a man and you keep dragging him off to chick flicks aplenty, take him to watch The Expendables. You will at least get an idea of how it’s like for him to sit through something like Sex and the City. Do be kind.

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Tags: Bruce Willis, Christmas, iPad, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Mickey Rourke, Sylvester Stallone, The Expendables, Western Union