Goddess, I Am.

Okay, not really a slave. More like an assistant.

The Perks:

- You get to work from home. Or from Starbucks. Or by the beach. Whatever floats your boat.

- You get to learn SEO from an industry expert whose campaigns are consistently at the top of search engine results pages (SERPS).

- You get to work at your own time and pace. That is, as long as you DO the work.

- This is a full-time job. And if I’m happy with your work, it’s also potentially long-term.

- You will be very well paid. Again, if I’m happy with your work after 3 months, I’ll give you a raise.

The Catch:

- Your schedule is flexible, yes, but don’t think that you can bunk off work. We’ve got deadlines to meet, and you have to meet those deadlines one way or the other. This is extremely important. This pretty much means that if you skip work one day, you’ll have to make up for it the next . . . even if you don’t sleep doing so.

- This job isn’t a walk in the park. There’s much to learn and even more to do, so you need to have an excellent coping mechanism to do so.

- Apart from the good pay, there are no other benefits.

- You need to think fast and work fast. I will teach you a lot of things, but I will NOT be around to hold your hand at all times. You have to be able to take the initiative when needed.

- If you’re whiny, this isn’t for you. Nothing pisses me off more than someone who complains about work because I never do. This is an opportunity that a lot of people will kill for, so you have to be able to appreciate that.

- No slacking! I’ve been in this business long enough to know a lame excuse when I see one. I’m a considerate boss, believe it or not, but only if you deserve it.

- Although we’re not doing highly technical work, there’s still a bit of techie stuff involved. I need someone who can learn whatever I teach lightning-fast and who can follow instructions. I don’t like repeating myself.

- As I said, this is a potentially long-term, full-time job. If you are working elsewhere, this isn’t for you (unless, of course, you’re quitting, anyway). I will NOT have anyone resigning from their jobs on my account. This is ideal for those who are currently unemployed, or freelancing full time.

The Requirements:

- You can write. And by write, I do NOT mean type. You need to have near-perfect grammar and spelling, which meet my standards.

- You own a computer; preferably a laptop, in case I need to meet you somewhere to discuss something. Also, said computer must not belong in a museum and must work 99.9% of the time.

- You have stable Internet connection. Internet problems as excuses are a dime a dozen, and I will only accept such an excuse SOMETIMES (read: hardly ever). You should know by now if your ISP is crap or not so there’s no reason not to switch . . . like, NOW.

- You have a cellphone and/or a landline that I can bug you on. And be warned, if you’re not good or if you miss deadlines, I WILL bug you!

- You have to be computer-savvy. I have no time to teach you the basics. A bit of HTML know-how is preferred.

- I prefer someone who lives in Cebu City, so we can meet for trainings and stuff. But if you’re from out of town and you think you can do the job, we’ll talk about it.

If I haven’t scared you off at this point and you’re still interested (or know someone who is), email me at iriswrites [at] gmail [dot] com with ‘FULL-TIME APPlICANT’ on the subject line. Please attach your resume along with two or three writing samples (links to blogs, portfolios, articles, etc. – whether you’re writing about noxycut or the mating habits of llamas doesn’t matter). If you hear from me, it means I’m considering you for the job. If not, don’t bug me, please. Please state your expected salary, as well.

If you can only work part-time, let me know. I do take part-time writers, too.

Picking up from where I left off . . .

Day Three

The night before, we made arrangements for a van to take us back to Legazpi City where we had to catch the 14:40 flight back to Cebu, and since we didn’t have to leave until about 11AM, we decided to sleep in. The Husband woke me up with a shower of birthday kisses and greetings – definitely one of my favorite ways to wake up. We were hoping to wake up early enough to get breakfast, but unfortunately, we got up later than expected. We were sharing the van with 3 others, so we really couldn’t dilly-dally.

Our companions – Fiona and Jade (a couple from Australia) and Rod (also from Australia, I believe) – were quite the fun bunch. We’ve seen them around the resort the whole time we were there, but we never spoke to each other until then. We exchanged stories about our Donsol experiences, and as it turned out, they went out for another morning of butanding interaction just that morning. Now why didn’t we think of that? The Husband and I were pretty bummed about that, especially when they told us they saw nine – nine! - sharks that fine, clear morning. Oh, well. I’d be sourgraping a bit when I say that I needed the extra sleep anyway, but I’ll let the puffy eyes that not even the best under eye cream can sort out speak for themselves.

But I digress. Like us, they haven’t seen Mt. Mayon yet, so I asked the driver to stop someplace where we could get a decent view of the mountain. He stopped somewhere on the highway, but unfortunately, half of the mountain was still behind a thick cloud. But at least we managed to see most of the base this time.

Since we still had nearly two hours to kill before our flight, The Husband and I asked the van driver to drop us off at McDonald’s so we can get some food. After all, one should not be starving on one’s 28th birthday. He dropped us off at a mall in the middle of Legazpi City, and he told us we could easily take a tricycle back to the airport. After 2 days of eating mediocre food in Donsol, I was craving for Chicken McNuggets big time (weird, I know), so that’s exactly what I had.

We walked around the mall for a little bit afterwards. It was like a slightly smaller SM, and it had a Metro Gaisano. The Husband left me outside National Bookstore while he bought me a birthday card. My birthday presents were waiting for me at home, but he just had to get me a card, too, because he can be romantic like that. While waiting, I asked the security guard how much a tricycle ride to the airport would cost us, and he said it was about P50. I automatically assumed that it was P50 per person. When I asked the tricycle driver, however, he told me it was P50 for the whole ride. Wo-ow. He had every opportunity to overcharge us, but he didn’t. Yes, there are still some honest people in the Philippines.

We saw a bit of Legazpi City on the way back, and it was such a lovely place that I couldn’t help but wish we were staying longer. Methinks we’ll be staying in Legazpi longer the next time, and maybe even go on a trek to Mayon. It reminded me a lot of Cebu City when I was younger, back when it was nicer, cleaner, and less crowded.

We made it to the airport in record time. Checking in was a breeze, too, and I loved the no-nonsense staff. Why, they even let me in with my bottled water! Practically all the airports I’ve been in always made a fuss about that, so that was a tad shocking.

We had to wait a while for our flight, but we didn’t really mind because we were sitting in what is officially the most scenic airport in the country. We were literally facing the Mayon Volcano, which was only about 12 kilometers away. While waiting, The Husband sort of kept watch near the windows, waiting for the clouds to clear up enough to get a good photograph of the mountain.

Luckily, it did at some point, and we were able to get some good photos. Why, we even saw the smoke pouring out of the crater! That was really, really cool.

Before we knew it, we had to board our plane back to Cebu, and it was officially the end of what is – without a doubt – one of our best holidays ever! We’re already planning our next trip back. ☺

Here’s a rundown of how much the entire trip cost (for two people):

Rountrip flights (Cebu-Legazpi-Cebu) via Cebu Pacific – P2,821.21 (seat sale, baby!)

2 nights at Amor Farm Beach Resort – P3,600 (P1,800 per night for a standard air-conditioned room with hot and cold shower)

Private Van to and from Donsol – P1,200 (P300 each on a van shared by 5 people, one way; it’s about P60 per person on a passenger van)

Registration fee for butanding interaction – P400 (P100 for Filipino, P300 for foreign nationals)

Butanding Interaction – P1,167 (P3,500 divided by 6 people)

Firefly River Cruise – P500 (P1,250 divided by 5 people)

Meals – about P2,000 (for the whole trip)

Tricycle ride to airport from a mall in Legazpi City – P50

Airport Terminal Fees – P460 (P200 per person in Mactan Cebu International Airport; P30 per person in Legazpi City Airport)

Souvenirs – P300

The total? A little less than P12,500, or nearly US$280. Not a bad price to pay for an awesome life experience, eh?

More photos of the trip can be found on Flickr.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the few days, you’ve probably heard that my poor and rather destitute country has been made even poorer and more destitute by the latest – and possibly the meanest – of all typhoons over the weekend.

Imagine this – a month’s worth of rain fell in approximately 6 hours, all thanks to Typhoon Ondoy (Ketsana), which is now wreaking havoc somewhere in Cambodia. That’s a hell of a lot of water. As of today, 4 days hence, much of the province of Rizal and some areas in Manila are still underwater.

I’m going to take a break from writing about Macbooks and weight loss supplements and my usual nonsense to join the throngs of Filipinos all over the globe appealing for help on behalf of those who lost their loved ones and homes. Please, please, PLEASE help out in any way that you can. Used clothing and other dry goods are welcome, but as of this afternoon, I heard that the Philippine Red Cross in Rizal is running out of food, so non-perishables are of the utmost importance right now.

I know every other province in the country has several donation drives going on, so please take the time to find out what’s going on in your area. Cebu City has several drop-off points for donations, and you can find the full list here.

Cash, which I strongly encourage, can be donated through various agencies:

1. ABS-CBN through Banco de Oro.

Account Number: 56300-20111

Account Name: ABS-CBN Foundation Incorporation

2. The Philippine Red Cross through your trusty cellphone load.

Just text: RED 5/25/50/100/300 to 2899 (Globe) or 4483 (Smart)

3. TXTPower.org.

SmartMoney: 5577514418667103

GCash: 09179751092

4. Worldvision Foundation accepts dollar donations through BPI.

USD Account Number: 4254-0050-08

Account Name: Worldvision Foundation

For those out of the country, you can still send help in many ways. I’m thinking the easiest – not to mention quickest – way you can help would be through Paypal. TXTPower.org is accepting donations through Paypal right HERE.

I believe there are are hundreds of other ways to donate, so there’s absolutely no excuse not to help out. With another typhoon coming hard on Ondoy’s heels (tonight, to be exact), this country needs all the help it can get.