Goddess, I Am.

Because people can’t seem to stop talking about New Moon (which premiered last Friday, the 20th, in the Philippines), I might as well write a few words about it for lack of better things to write about.

Probably the most remarkable thing about the movie was the crowd. The unruly throngs of people – mostly pre-pubescent teens, I might add – nearly gave me a coronary. Thankfully, I reserved our tickets nearly a full month before (seriously). So while hoards of teenage girls moaned how their seats were close enough to the screen to see Edward’s brain matter through his nostrils, I was smugly gloating about the fact that we literally had the best seats in the house – the first row of the premiere section, right smack in the middle where there’s leg room aplenty (not that my short legs needed the room, but you get the picture).

The movie itself was so-so. I didn’t have high expectations, so I didn’t leave disappointed. The book was probably my second least favorite (I liked Breaking Dawn least) because Bella’s (Kristen Stewart) reaction to Edward’s leaving was way too pathetic and was a tad corny, even for me (and I’ve had my share of high drama, mind you). Predictably, the movie was just as melodramatic, even to the point of being somewhat dragging.

It did have its redeeming moments, though, namely the scenes where Jacob (Taylor Lautner) strutted around half-naked. And because this happened quite often, some may argue that his pectorals saved the show. You can count me in, if you must, tee hee.

However, I think the guy who played Paul (Alex Meraz) was even hotter, if that’s at all possible. (That’s him on the left, growl!)

Photo Credit: Ace Showbiz

Of course, not to be outdone, Edward (Robert Pattinson) had to go topless, too. Is it just me, though, or is Rob becoming more and more of a letdown as the series progresses? It’s either that, or I’m just really disturbed with how his nipples looked way too much like P10 coins. (And yes, I do notice these sort of things.)

One thing about the movies that I’m really starting to hate is how Edward comes off as a bit of a pansy. I don’t know if it’s Rob, or how the films are directed, but really, the doe eyes are too much for a vampire movie, even a vampire love story. In the book, Edward is supposed to be romantic and brooding, but he’s also quite a bad ass. In the movies, on the other hand, he broods more than a teenage girl (which makes him more cheesy than romantic), and he’s about as bad-assed as Rainbow Brite.

Case in point, will the vampire lover of your wildest fantasies be caught dead in a gag-worthy scene such as this?

‘Nuff said.

All in all, though, it was good fun, New Moon. Eye candy never hurt anybody, so if you’re a fan of the series, it’s definitely worth watching, even just for curiosity’s sake. Whether you watch it at the cinema, or curled up on a couch in one of those Outer Banks beach rentals when it comes out on video, it’s entirely up to you. But if its box office earnings so far is any indication, I think almost everyone opted for the former. I do know we’ll be getting it on Blu-ray, if only to add to my burgeoning share of the collection.

On a side note, I wouldn’t want Robert Pattinson to be my Edward Cullen, if I were Bella Swan. I would want him . . .

Christian Bale

Or him . . .

Michael C. Hall

But most definitely, him . . .

The Husband

Won’t my version of New Moon be so much better (and slightly porn-y)?

Yesterday, The Hub and I watched Terminator Salvation, the film that we were waiting for the most this year. I must say that I was a little disappointed. Oh, the film wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t stellar either. Unfortunately, I was expecting it to be nothing short of stellar.

I’m not an expert movie critic, but I’m thinking that most of my disappointment had something to do with the director, McG. I honestly think a better job could’ve been done. He had a tried and tested story, as well as an excellent cast and the technology available to do the story justice. Instead, the pacing was wrong in some places and the CGI of Schwarzenegger looked just that – CGI.

With that said, I found the film still brilliantly entertaining, mostly due to its cast. How pretty is Bryce Dallas Howard? I’m trying to find out if it’s true, but she truly looked pregnant in the film. And then there’s Moon Bloodgood, officially my newest girl crush. She’s so gorgeous that I want to hang myself for not looking like that.

I think Sam Worthington is one actor that we should all be looking out for in the future. I thought he looked a bit like Brian Austin Green, who played Derek Reese on The Sarah Connor Chronicles (the Terminator series made for TV, which Terminator Salvation completely ignored in terms of storyline). I love, love, LOVED Anton Yelchin in Star Trek, and once again, I love, love, LOVED him in Terminator Salvation. How is it possible that this kid is in two of the year’s biggest blockbusters? He must have one hell of a manager.

And of course, there’s Christian Bale. Seriously, the man can do no wrong, even with all the hoopla about that screaming fit he had on the Terminator Salvation set. But then, I had a crush on Christian Bale before it was even fashionable to have a crush on Christian Bale (he was 13 in Empire of the Sun and I was about 7, LOL), so I’m more than a little biased.

He was perfect as John Connor, and my only qualm is that there was only one scene where he had his shirt off and he was covered in friggin’ bandages. Honestly, where is the justice in that? If I was a terminator, however, Christian Bale can definitely do strange things with a barcode scanner on me anytime.

So that’s my little attempt at a movie review. If you haven’t seen Terminator Salvation, then I urge you to do so. It’s seriously good fun, McG or no McG. Here’s hoping they’ll pick a better director next time!

No, once again, I have not donned my riding breeches and ridden off into the sunset, nor am I letting this blog die like so many others in the past. I simply have much of my time taken over by work – and life, in general – once again, so writing has been out of the question.

I won’t regale you with details of what I’ve been up to these past few weeks or so because I’m writing on borrowed time at the moment, so anyone who might be interested will have to make do with this very quick update.

1. I’ve quit my shitty job because I realized that I get paid for freelance work a lot better than writing a crummy book about government grants. My bosses weren’t too happy, and it was a mess for a while. Now that I think about, it still is a bit of a mess, but at least they’re not threatening to sue me anymore. Now, if only they’ll pay me my money really soon so we can all call it a day. . .

2. My sister, mum, and I have a new online venture. I did mention before that she (my sister) makes clothes, but now she has started to focus on swimwear. Her first few pieces are nothing short of fabulous (and I should know because I am quite partial to everything “beach-y”), and should be ready for sale any day now. That’s one of the great things about the Philippines – summer never ends, even in the middle of the typhoon season.

But I digress. Right now, we have a pretty impressive collection of gorgeous sandals, so pay us a visit at The Innuendo Shop and maybe pick up a pair – or two!

3. Alright, shameless plugging done. Moving on, May is an awesome month for movies, and I’m proud to say that I haven’t missed any of the blockbusters this month. I can’t help it!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine was pretty cool. I’s not my favorite, but it was extremely entertaining, especially Ryan Reynolds. And I love, love, LOVED the new Star Trek! One of my best friends is a certified Trekkie (she has the uniforms, wore Klingon ears, and even went to that sci-fi convention thingy in Germany last month), and I always poked fun at her. Though I probably won’t be joining her frenzy anytime soon (sorry, Kaye), I still think the J.J. Abrams “reboot” is the most entertaining film I’ve seen this year – so far! Let’s see if next week’s Terminator Salvation will surpass it. The critics have been mean, but I never listen to them, anyway. Besides, it’s Christian Bale, people!

I will probably get a lot of criticism for saying this, but I think the Angels and Demons movie was better than the book, ending-wise. Mind you, this isn’t something that I say very often because I LIVE for books! I love reading Dan Brown, but I did think the book was a bit over-the-top around the ending when the Camerlengo torched himself in front of all and sundry and people were all atwitter over such a “divine” phenomenon (can anyone say, “overkill”?). I’m so glad the movie made that whole bit more low-key. Most of the stuff in the book, particularly some of the history, were missing from the film, though, but that’s understandable and almost negligible.

I also loved that they made Langdon’s new adventure a sequel, instead of a prequel (unlike the book). Did anyone notice that he was no longer claustrophobic in the film? That’s a great touch – Sophie Christ (for lack of a better moniker) actually did successfully cure him (in the Da Vinci Code)! Another thing that I loved was how they kept the same haunting music by Hans Zimmer. It made this skeptic want to go back to church. Okay, not really. Oh, and it was filmed in Rome. I want to go to Rome so bad!!!

4. Speaking of Rome, I now have all seven books of Colleen McCullough’s Masters of Rome series! Weeeeeee! I had to order the missing second and third (The Grass Crown and Fortune’s Favorites, respectively) from a UK bookstore back in April, but thankfully, it made it here in good time AND I didn’t have to pay for stupid import taxes. Besides, I’m still in the middle of The First Man in Rome (the first book) – slow going because of all the stuff that I have to do. But I’m not complaining. The longer I can stay in Ancient Rome, the better.

5. In 20 days, we’re off to Boracay for our late honeymoon. I am absolutely giddy with excitement! Little sister is making my fabulous monokinis and bikinis as we speak! I am, after all, the (shamelessly) self-proclaimed image model for Innuendo. You hear that, little sister?

6. And another thing that’s getting me excited: I am this close to getting my 13-inch Macbook Aluminum! Yey! I intend to get it within the next couple of weeks or so. My mind’s all made up, yes, but I am still looking for the best deal possible. Being the skinflint that I am, I can’t help it!

7. Kris Allen won American Idol, just like I said he would. It just proves that the judges and producers could try to blatantly manipulate people to vote for overrated Adam Lambert with their simpering comments and lavish (over)productions for his performances all they want, but the best man will still win. I feel vindicated.

8. We’re doing great on the home front. We’re settled, comfortable, and very married. As always, we have our little dramas every now and again, but things get too boring otherwise! I am about to buy a cookbook and attempt to cook for my man beyond the usual fry-ups – a prospect that he dreads, and one that I am very much looking forward to, just to see the look on his face.

So that’s life for the new Mrs. Young. I hope to get back to my regular writing schedule within the next few days. Please, oh please, just let me survive this week without drowning in articles!