Goddess, I Am.

The holidays – you gotta love ‘em. After all, it’s that happy time of the year when you can eat everything in sight without feeling the slightest twinge of guilt. In my case, at least.

And so here I am at the dawn of a new year with a head full of dreams and a belly that was full of lechon, pastries, and what-have-yous – and still somehow showing it, several days after the fact.

No, I did NOT eat it all. I had help.

I can no longer ignore the fact that my clothes seem a tad – okay, a lot – tighter, and that I haven’t seen my toes in a while. Methinks it’s time to bring out my hidden cache of the best diet pills ever created for lazy-assed, work-at-home freelance writers like me.

I did consider (however briefly) the idea of hauling my bum off to the gym and sweating the extra pounds away. But I find myself thinking of that disastrous time when I had a gym membership, and I couldn’t help but shudder. You would, too, if you threw up on your trainer’s shoes after 10 minutes on the elliptical machine! I kid you not.

For all I know, I could be very well and truly banned from Cebu Holiday Gym and Spa, anyway. And I don’t want to go anywhere else that doesn’t have a pool. And yes, that’s me making lame excuses not to exercise.

So it’s definitely back to the ol’ reliable for me. And for good measure, I could possibly (highly unlikely, but not impossible) pry myself away from this:

This:

Or even this:

Just wait, this lazy-assed, work-at-home freelance writer will look like this again in no time: