Goddess, I Am.

The Husband, he doesn’t read my blogs. Or at least, I don’t think so. I’ve never found any indication that he does, so I suppose it’s safe to assume that he really doesn’t.

Here are 5 things that I really want for Christmas, anyway, on the off chance that he might read my blog. Who knows? He might stumble upon my list while looking for worthwhile Christmas gifts for her – that is to say, ME.

Of course, I could always just tell him, but then, the rest of you, my beloved readership, won’t know what I want for Christmas. I figured I’d make it a bit easier for you, just in case I’m on your Christmas list, tee hee. Hey, a girl can dream!

1. A White 32GB iPhone 3GS.
I love all things Apple. But though I’ve come close to buying one of these several times, I just couldn’t bring myself to buy myself another gadget when I’ve already bought so many this year. I still want one, though. In fact, I’m wanting it more and more every day, preferably one that’s already jailbroken.

2. A 64GB iPod Touch.
Okay, I admit the iPhone is a tad too pricey, but I’m reasonable. I would happily settle for technically the same thing without the phone and camera functions, among others. Naturally, I want the model with the most storage because how else will all the I, Caesar documentaries and Dexter episodes I downloaded fit?

3. An 18-200VR lens, also known as the ‘all-around’ lens.
I knew photography was going to be a really expensive hobby to get in to, so I’m not going crazy on accessories for Caesar, nor do I plan to. I do know, however, that I’ll need to invest on lenses eventually. Of course, it’ll be a lot better to just get one for Christmas.

I want an 18-200mm lens because it’s wide enough for landscape shots when I travel, yet it also takes decent macro shots, which I do more often, anyway. I’m thinking getting a good ‘all-around’ lens for Christmas will help me stop blaming my bad shots on my poor kit lens.

4. A Tenba Messenger Bag in Plum, size small.
I have been longing for this bag since September. It’s a messenger bag that’s designed to carry a laptop, an SLR and 2 lenses, and just about any other stuff one can think of throwing in there along with these gadgets, such as chargers, cables, external drives, portfolios, etc. I’m so sick of having to carry different bags when I’m out with Octavian and Caesar, so this is the bag of my dreams.

As far as I know, only Digital Walker in SM carries these in Cebu. I was about to buy one one day, but they only had the larger size in black. After that, I kind of lost my nerve. At $108.95 (a whopping P7,500 from Digital Walker, for some reason), it does require a bit of courage. But watch the video, do! You’ll know why it’s worth every penny (or centavo).

5. Books aplenty!
To be perfectly honest, I really am probably one of the easiest people to get presents for. Sure, I could harp on about how I’d like to have every single gadget known to man, and sure, I would be very happy to get any one of ‘em, but really, I will be just as happy to get a good book or two.

Because I’ve spent the last 8 months reading ‘em stories of Rome and Caesar, however, I’ve got very specific books in mind because I’ve got a lot of catching up to do on my reading. I’ll probably post a list of the books that I really, really want soon-ish. That is, of course, assuming I don’t get sidetracked.

Goodness, how did my 5-item list get so long? Off to bed with me, methinks.

Here’s a story that I haven’t written about yet, which is weird because it’s actually kind of hilarious. Well, for me, that is.

Once upon a time in mid-November, The Fiance was woken up at around 4 in the morning by the incessant barking – no, make that yapping – of a dog. Now, there are loads of dogs in the neighborhood and they’re not exactly quiet, but this one was particularly annoying. It’s that kind of yapping that borders on a whine and a shrill bark, so imagine that.

Anyway, he ran out of the house to look for the dog, and found IT – a puppy – uncomfortably tied up to one of our neighbor’s window grills. He could see a light and movement in said neighbor’s house, so he tried to call out to whoever was in there so they can do something about the dog. The neighbor, however, turned off the lights and ignored him.

The Fiance then went back to bed, but the yapping continued on and on, royally pissing him off even more. So he goes back to the neighbor’s house – who carried on ignoring him, mind you – and started throwing pebbles at the dog to shut him up. That didn’t work, so he went home absolutely livid.

Later that day, my sister’s helper came to me, saying that said neighbor’s help was complaining about The Fiance pelting the dog with rocks. I, in turn, asked her to tell the neighbor’s help to take the dog out back where we can’t hear it because the noise is really too much to handle, especially when people are trying to get some sleep.

About an hour or so later, she came back telling me that the neighbor – the actual owner of the house – is outside on the street on a rampage. Sure enough, I could hear her screaming to all and sundry about how The Fiance abused her mangy mutt. Now, he isn’t exactly known for sitting back and taking shit from the other people, so he storms out before I can stop him and a screaming match ensued right on our street.

My mother suggested that we take it to the baranggay, so we did. Unfortunately, the office was closed, so we figured we’ll do it in the morning. That night, we couldn’t hear the dog, so we assumed that they’ve moved it elsewhere. We decided not to go to the baranggay the next day, after all. Unfortunately, the yapping started again the next night, so the morning after found us in the baranggay captain’s office.

As it turned out, we were already too late; they’ve already filed a case against The Fiance for harassment, of all things. The idiots that they are, though, they got his name wrong and filed their case against a Steve Eagle.

Now, we have absolutely no idea where they got the last name “Eagle” from. When we moved to Cebu a month back, though, our boxes were all labeled “Eagle Shipping Company’, so they probably used that. Ahhhhh! The stupidity of the human race.

Anyhow, the good people at the office told us that we can actually refuse the summons because he is obviously not Steve Eagle. They also told us that the hearing was set for December 9 and that we can expect a subpoena before then. When it finally showed up weeks later, we refused it, as advised, and sent the messenger on his merry way.

Now, there are two maids in the neighborhood who we call “The Yummies” because they’re both, well, big. Okay, that’s an understatement. They’re actually huge, fat cows in dire need of the best diet pill money can buy. One of them, who I believe is the ringleader of the neighborhood maid posse, is also the biggest gossip this side of the equator. She works for a Korean family, so she thinks she’s all that because she can speak better English than her little friends.

Anyway, my mum was out on her front yard one day when this particular “Yummy” started loitering outside her gate. My mum ignored her. She couldn’t help herself, though, so she started chatting with my mum (in English, no less). She eventually got right down to business and asked my mother who my “husband” is. So mum told her his name is Steve. She then asked, “Just Steve?” – to which mum firmly replied, “Just Steve.”

With their evil plan thwarted, we thought that was the end of it. To our surprise, the messenger came back in January with another subpoena. It was, however, still addressed to Steve Eagle, so that was again a no-go. To this day, I still don’t see the logic of pursuing their little “case” if they couldn’t even get his name right, but then, I have long since stopped trying to figure out what people with little brains are thinking.

The ugly dog is still alive and well, and is now yapping outside our house because the screaming neighbor has recently decided that she’s going to walk him to the store across the street from us at 6 in the morning. Steve Eagle currently has a plan that involves a hose and loads of water. The soon-to-be Mrs. Eagle will keep you posted on how this little drama unfolds.