Goddess, I Am.

Have you ever bought yourself something that you feel is the ultimate representation of everything you’ve ever worked hard for? Some people would buy homes; others, cars, boats, and airplanes. As for me? I bought myself a Macbook.

Everyone, say hello to Gaius Julius Caesar Dictator – or just, Gaius. (It’s a bit overdue, I know.

As you all know, I’ve been mooning over Macbooks for, well, FOREVER. Something always came up, however, so I never really got the chance to put away enough money to get one. Until a little over a month ago, that is; hence, Gaius.

I must say that Gaius is – hands down – THE best computer I have ever owned, not to mention the most beautiful. EVER. I was originally all set on getting the 13-inch Aluminum unibody, but decided at the last minute that I don’t need to shell out almost another $400 just to get features that I’m never likely to use, as I don’t edit videos or music or even pictures. My mum’s boss, who was in the US at that time, picked it up for me – from Circuit City, I believe – and was kind enough to haul it all the way back to the Philippines, so I got a pretty good deal for it, too. Besides, I still think that white Macbooks have the quintessential Macbook look and are heartbreakingly gorgeous.

I’ve invested on VMWare Fusion so I can run both Mac OS X and Windows XP applications on Gaius. Although I would prefer to turn my back on Windows forever, the software I use for spinning (my meal ticket these days) all run on Windows XP, so until the developers come up with Mac versions, I don’t really have much of a choice. The Windows XP installation runs on a virtual computer, so basically, I have two computers running running on one laptop. I’ve named my Windows virtual machine Lucius Cornelius Sulla . . . because I just can’t help myself.

For a while, Gaius was completely devoid of physical protection (apart from my oh-so cute laptop bag), so I guess it was a bad idea to take him on holiday in Boracay. I discovered a telltale discoloration and a slight scratch on a corner of Gaius’ lid for all and sundry to see, and I was in a right state of panic. I burst into tears and yelled at my poor husband who really was only trying to help. Yes, I do scare myself sometimes. But hey, it was a 2-week old Macbook (back then) AND it didn’t exactly cost me peanuts, so I still think my panic was well-founded.

I decided to pay iStore a visit when I got back to see if they had anything that could possibly help me with Gaius’ little problem. If not, I was getting ready to resign myself to the idea that I might have to get one of those laptop skins, or worse, those tacky crystal cases. Before I did, though, I did a bit of Googling, and I found out that the cleaning products they sold on Apple stores were, well, downright shitty, and that I was better off using anything from toothpaste to Staedler erasers. Our toothpaste, however, was green, and I was afraid I will only succeed in turning Gaius into The Hulk. We eventually tried the erasers – and lo and behold! It worked! Now Gaius is as gorgeous as new, and I’m the proud momma once again.

I’ve learned my lesson, however, and have now invested in all manners of Macbook protection. I now have a screen protector, a silicon keyboard cover, and I will forever and ever probably keep a Staedler eraser handy. I’m also looking for the prettiest laptop sleeve I can find. As much as possible, I do want to keep Gaius the way he is – white and naked the way God and Apple intended him to be.

One thing’s for sure: Gaius has made a die-hard Mac fan out of this girl. And I’m not going to say anything definite right now, but if I really can’t help myself, he’s going to get upgraded into a Pro very, very soon.

Damn, these Macs are addictive!

I think I have an abuse problem. The problem is it’s an addiction I can’t afford to sustain, so I just end up frustrated, very unsatisfied, and feeling all too silly. Why, oh why, couldn’t I just have a drinking problem? Instead, I have to be hopelessly fixated on laptops, of all things.

It all started when I bought my first one in 2007 before I left for Thailand. It was a large, bulky thing with a 14-inch screen that I got on a 6-month installment scheme, and I must say that it was definitely the best investment I’ve ever made because it ended up being my meal ticket.

Because I wrote for a living, I loved how I could take it with me everywhere. Eventually, however, the novelty wore off and it weighed me down quite literally. I used to carry all 7 kilos of it in a backpack, and it gave me horrible back and shoulder problems. And because it was a rather tacky brand (the best I could do at the moment), its performance went progressively downhill from day one – enough to be annoying, but nothing to be alarmed about.

I then developed a wandering eye. I would trawl through shops, longingly inspecting sleek, lightweight models with features that made my old, reliable, less-than-a-year-old lappie look like a relic from the ruins of Pompeii. I almost succumbed to the urge to splurge a couple of times, but thanks to the voice of reason (The Fiance’s), I managed to walk away from the shiny, pink Vaios and Macbooks aplenty in Bangkok’s Panthip Plaza.

And so it was that the next few months found me toiling with that laptop and all its familiar quirks – that is, until I managed to save up some money. I somehow convinced myself and The Fiance that I will be a hunchback in a year if I carry on lugging that monstrosity around Southeast Asia. I still couldn’t afford a Macbook, but I could get one of those ridiculously cute netbooks. I then dragged him to Future Park Rangsit one evening where I got one of those oh-so handy Acer Aspire Ones in white.

At that time, they only had the 8GB ones that ran on Linux. If I wanted the ones that ran on Windows XP, I had to wait a couple of weeks until they came in. Looking back, I probably could’ve waited, but with my typical impatience, I reasoned that I’m only going to use it to write and browse, anyway, and I still had “oldie” if I somehow needed to use Windows, so why not? Plus, it was cheaper. And that was how Gretchen (Chin forced me to name it) came into my life.

She didn’t disappoint for a while. With only a 9-inch screen, she was so small and she hardly weighed a thing. I could simply stash her in my purse and forget that she was even there. I bought an 8GB SD memory card to give her a bit of a memory upgrade and found a way to install Firefox 3 so I could browse with a slightly bigger screen, and we were happy. Still, she was nowhere near the Macbook of my dreams, so it wasn’t long before I started to tire of her and her spartan features and to look at the shiny new netbooks available these days with their huge hard drives and prettier colors.

I still have both laptops. Nearly two years old now, the bigger one is running on the dregs of its ancient battery, so it’s not good for traveling anymore. It freezes almost all the time now and crashes when pushed to do too much. It even wheezes like an old person, and if it could speak, I suspect it’ll beg The Fiance (who uses it most of the time) for retirement.

At 7 months old, young Gretchen is really not so young anymore. She has a very temperamental charger that only works when it feels like it. The older one’s charger does work with her sometimes when plugged in the right angle, but I can’t use it too often when “oldie” barely has 2 minutes on its battery. So poor Gretchen is almost always dead these days, and when she is working, she messes up the multiple inboxes I set up on my Gmail because her screen is so little. Not only that, I can’t seem to find the inspiration to write when I use her. She still runs pretty fast, though, which is an upside of her running on a Linux system. Still, I can’t be bothered to sort out her little issues because I do most of my work on my office computer now, anyway, for lack of better options.

So as you probably can tell by now, I am, once again, dying to get my hands on a new laptop. And with a rather healthy statement balance on our joint bank account, it is, indeed, quite a challenging exercise on self-control. After all, I am going to be a very married woman soon enough, so I can’t just be frivolous at a whim anymore.

But hey, that doesn’t mean a girl can’t dream, and this girl is dreaming of a 13-inch Macbook Aluminum.

Or, at least, the Vivenne Tam edition of the HP Mini 1000.

Drat. Where’s that fairy godmother when you need one?